I’d like to tell you a short story.
In a program about loneliness I watched the other night, this woman was telling the interviewer how she had been single for 13 years. She was 39 years old. At night, when she lay in bed, she couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with her. Why didn’t anyone want her?
The answer to her question was one that is so typical for us women: it was because of her weight.
The story she was telling herself was, that she was not worthy of a boyfriend, a partner in life, because she had gained some weight.
This woman was so pretty. Honestly, she had the prettiest face and seemed like such a kind, gentle, smart and fun woman.
But she had a story about not being worthy of love going repeat in her head.
I think you and I both would say to this lovely woman, that she is of course worthy of love. Right?
Now, I’ll turn the tables.
Every day I tell myself stories.
From the moment I wake up in the morning, I am telling myself a story about how I am , and how I am feeling.
Getting further into the day, the stories in my head become about other people. By the time I come home from school, my story is usually about someone in school. And on it goes.
Do you do this?
Have a think about the thoughts you have when you wake up, and what kind of stories you tell yourself and others during the day.
Here’s the thing: are they true?
I’ll be honest, I’m very good at telling myself a story about someone, that justifies why I am right, and they are wrong. This is not a good thing. I know that. So after I have come around to the conclusion that I am right, and I realize this might not be correct, not to mention helpful or kind, I then have to backtrack my story and create a new and more kind story.
Can you relate to this?
I’m beginning to think I can’t trust my thoughts.
And it’s unsettling.
How this relates to you:
Be your story
Try and be aware of your thoughts, which leads to a story, and ask if they are really true.
The self-image you have today; will this be your story?
I’m not saying it shouldn’t be. It could be a fantastic story you live by.
I’m just asking, will this be your story?
Because you can change it. It can literally go like this:
I want my story to be that I am a kind and creative woman, who acts with grace and integrity. My family life is solid and we respect our differences, and we help each other along on our separate journeys. My job is …………..my vocation is ………… my hobby is ………..and I try to learn from my mistakes and failures, of which there have been, and are many. I allow myself to feel sad, miserable and down sometimes, but I am always working through these emotions and I get back up. I like who I am and I surround myself with people who like me for who I am, and whom I like and respect. My values are these…………. and I live my life by them. Etc. Etc.
Now, it’s your turn.
How is your story?
With best intentions