I wouldn’t say I was fearless when I was young but I was braver than I am now.
The things I did in my teens and late twenties, I am very proud of.
I changed life direction like it was no big deal and I grew and learned so much every time.
Just to name a few:
- I left my country when I was just 17 years old – on my own.
- Moved country and city 8-10 times – just because I wanted to, no stress involved.
- I’ve made myself unemployed so many times – I have actually lost count – in the knowledge and without the shadow of a doubt that I would get another job. And I always have.
What I want to paint a picture of here, is that I have jumped into the deep end so many times and I never sunk. I always swam to the shore, it might have been a long swim sometimes but I always got there.
When I was young(er).
Fast forward till today…
It’s much harder for me to get out of my comfort zone now.
I’m less willing to take risks. Because I have kids.
It’s directly linked.
We are a family of 5. I have 3 kids.
This basically means that our lives and most of the decisions we make evolves around them. There’s a lot of practicality involved.
When our oldest, Louis, was younger we moved around a lot. He was born in Copenhagen, 4 months old when we moved back to London, 6 months old when we went on holiday to New York and Boston. He lived many places the first few years of his life.
Then the twins came along and Louis started school. Now we stay put!
That’s one of the many reasons why blogging is so brilliant, I get to travel the world via my old laptop from my modest and lovely apartment. It’s gooood!
Fear doesn’t age, I do.
I find the longer I stay in my comfort zone, the harder it gets to leave it.
Maybe it’s my memory failing me, but I remember being scared doing a lot of the things I did when I was younger – I just did them anyway.
My perception now of what I can do now, is limited the older I get.
What about the kids?
What about money?
And hubby? What will hubby say?
I didn’t worry about any of that in my twenties.
Fear is only for the young!
I thought I wouldn’t feel fear when I got old(er).
And that I would stop being afraid.
I’ll tell you the truth about fear and getting older: now I get to be afraid for 4 other people as well!
That’s the bonus.
So how do I deal with fear as I get older?
I prepare better, do a lot of research.
Talk it over with my husband and friends.
Sometimes, I get coached by a fellow kaizen-muse creativity coach. (Because fear, and other creative blocks, is what we coach on)
And then I do what I always do: I shake in my boots and march on 🙂