The good stuff is on the other side of hard

hard conversations lead to good

Do you also find, that good things happen on the other side of hard stuff? How a tough conversation can clear the air and bring us closer, or doing something that scares you makes you proud of yourself?

I was thinking about Glennon Doyle Melton's line in "The Compassion Collective" which reads:


"There's no such thing, as other people's children"


The Compassion Collective is a charity that helps Syrian refugees. And when these Syrians suffer, we are all affected. We are one world. We have no choice but to look after each other.

I'm having this conversation with a lot recently; when you don't speak up, you accept the bad things. Because people don't say anything to the right people.

We are good at criticising and complaining. We’re good at talking about people behind their backs. But facing people head on, and having hard conversations...not so much.

In fact. very rarely.

I understand.

Entering the unknown, and uncomfortable platform it is to have a real, honest and vulnerable conversation with someone you disagree with, is proper scary stuff.

But I believe keeping stum when something is not ok with us, is making us sick. Physically, emotionally and socially.

I have a friend who is learning this lesson the hard way. This woman is wonderful. She is special. She radiates a special kind of magic. And she does everything for everybody.

But it's not serving her.

She is being curious about this saying no-business. She's bought a book. And she is upsetting people around her.

Because they are not used to saying no.

She's a brave warrior.

The good stuff is on the other side of hard

This is becoming more and more clear to me. How annoying is that? It would be much easier if all the good stuff was easy. No hard stuff involved. Fun, easy-peasy, lovely-jobeley, nothing hard or difficult. no need to think. Handed on a plate.......

But that's just not life. It's not how things are.

And actually, if I'm honest, the really good things in my life are this good because I have fought for them.

My relationships, my job, my education , my coaching training. But small things too. Like consciously changing a negative mindset or thought pattern, to a positive and grateful one. And then experiencing the goodness in that day.

Change is hard. Uncomfortable.

And it's the best lesson we can teach our kids.

I have a teenage son. And going through that change, from child to adult, is hard in soooo many ways.

And that's ok. It's gets good.

After a particularly hard day at school, it gets good again. Having your feelings crushed is beyond hard. But it leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. And it paves the way for a better love.

The good stuff is on the other side of hard.

Just to be clear, I am not for 1 second trying to sugar coat shitty times. Hard times are hard as heck, wind-knocking-out-of-you-hard. What I am saying, is that it gets good again. A different good. And sometimes even a better good.

Believe, trust, let go.