Looking for the Good Conversation
I had a big AHA moment recently.
I was having a chat with my good friend - I call her my spiritual leader - and she said something in line of " It drains me from energy to small talk. I have much more energy when I've had a meaningful conversation"
And it hit me: That's it!
So many things fell into place for me.
I've always thought it was because I didn't know what to say but actually, it's just because I can't do small talk.
What a relief :-D
I can't do small talk.
That's one of the reasons I don't like big family get-togethers,
.. and networking events (Goddamn awful things)
... school reunions (what's the point?)
... and why some friendships haven't lasted.
It's not the only reason but definitely part of it.
I'm not good at starting a conversation with people I don't know well or don't know at all.
Learning how to have the good conversation
The value of having a good conversation is something I think we should teach kids in school.
When to talk, when to listen, how to value someone else's opinion when it's not the same as yours.
How to communicate our feelings in an authentic way, before we either explode with anger or cry because we are so full of emotion we literally "overflow".
And how it sounds when you talk - because how it sounds in our heads is usually not how it sounds to others.
How you say something is almost more important than what you say.
I'm sure you've experienced this: someone comes across so annoying that you don't really hear what they're actually saying.
Or you can have a conversation with someone and leave thinking: "what did they mean by that?"
Lack of the good conversation....
I reckon lack of good conversations is the root to so many problems in workplaces as well.
Lack of communication which includes misunderstandings, is the root to problems everywhere but having a good conversation is a great way to improve that (communication).