Why this perfectionist is getting permission to fail
I have a new strategy:
I'm giving myself permission to fail!
And this new strategy also includes making mistakes and going for "good enough".
Being a bit of a perfectionist (as I recently discovered), my expectations to myself are often completely unrealistic.
And it stops me trying lots of things. Or if I manage to get started, I often quit. It's crazy.
Until I trained as a Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach, I didn't know I was a perfectionist.
It was quite a discovery.
My unrealistic expectations are flippin' exhausting.
And it's sneaky because it's not something I do consciously. It happens automatically.
The upside to being this way is obvious:
It drives me forward.
The downside is the internal bashing I do when I don't reach my standard. Not pretty.
But I try to remind myself I'm human and making mistakes and failing is part of the package.
If you catch yourself thinking:
"OMG. I could never do that"
"this ....... is not for me"
Try asking yourself:
How can I lower my expectations just a little bit more?
How would it feel to just go for "good enough"?
Permission to fail can look like this
Right now, I'm creating my first ever videos for my coaching business and I don't know what the h... I'm doing.
But I'm having fun doing it.
Writing down what I want to say in the intro video, where to look at the screen. The whole figuring out the tech-stuff. It's all a learning curve for me.
And I'm determined to keep my expectations low and enjoy the process.
Words like "Mastery", "Expert" "Change the world" "Guru" make me go ARHG!!!
I just want to have fun, try new things, hang out with some lovely people (online and off), and learn how to do things I don't yet know.
Very often, having high and unrealistic expectations means either we give up before even having a go, or giving up halfway.
If you're someone this doesn't apply to, by all means, keep going with your bad-high expectation-self.
But if you're like me, then there's no end to the level of expectation you put on yourself.
This going for failure, doing something purposely bad and going easy on myself is a new concept to me.
"What do you mean I don't HAVE to do everything perfectly the first time???? What do you mean I don't HAVE to give 150%?? What are you talking about?? Who are you and what planet are you from??" ;-D
Honestly, sometimes I get so tired of trying, I realize that perhaps it's time to lower my expectations.
It's not my default reaction - to lower my expectations.
But it does make me let out a sigh of relief. Phew!
I don't have to go for a 150% ALL the time, or even 100%.
80% will do.
I invite you to be kind to yourself and let yourself fail. As many times as possible.
Now I give myself permission to let this post be "good enough" :-D