What should I be (when I grow up?)
What should I be?
My 13-year-old teenage son is beginning to think about what he should be when he grows up.
It's something they talk about in school, and some of the kids in his class already have a plan of action.
I think this is what is sometimes making him feel "behind".
How crazy is it to feel behind at the age of 13?
It makes me want to step onto my soapbox.
Being a parent to a sensitive, creative and very bright 13-year-old, is a new parent experience, than what we're used to from having 3 kids under 10.
My first job here is to get my own feelings in check.
This is about him, not about me and what I think, feel, or have experienced.
Ok, I need reminding of this, but I am aware of separating me from him so, so far, so good.
My son is a "gamer" and I put that in quotation marks because he is so much more than that.
But he is a complete Nintendo nerd and is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to anything related to that world.
He has also said he might be an attorney, as he loves to argue his case (we can vouch for that :-))
He wants to leave Denmark as soon as he can.
This is the only thing he says he knows for sure, that he won't be living in Denmark.
What's funny for me, is that I was exactly the same. Since I was 12 years old, I knew I wanted to leave Denmark and live in America.
As it happened, I went to London at 17.
One of the results of that dream is, that I have an English husband today.:-)
This makes it a little easier for our son to move to London, where he also wants to live, than it was for me, as he has a lot of family there.
Cause and effect.
How does my son growing up, relate to you?
We have probably all tried asking ourselves the question, what to "be" when we grow up. And because we tend to put our whole life and identification into a job title, we often don't know what to answer.
Especially us creative multi-passionate types.
Because we are not just one thing!
It's no wonder we get stressed out, trying to answer the question "what should I be when I grow up?"
Ask instead yourself these 7 questions
Instead of searching for a job title, I ask my son questions about what he likes doing.
These 7 questions are great to really spend some time answering.
What makes you happy and what sort of things interests you?
Is there anything that makes you mad?
What are you good at?
What do you enjoy doing?
Do you prefer to be alone or with others or a bit of both?
Is working best for you, or evening or at a different time?
Do you like to sit still behind a computer or do you like to use your hands to create?
If you are really clear on these answers, you will have a good idea about who you are, and what works for you. And that gives you something tangible to work with.
Education and learning is something I have a lot to say about, so I admit it's a challenge for me to keep quiet.
But luckily, my son has very strong knowledge of his feelings, what he likes and doesn't like, so I know he'll choose a direction for himself, not me or his dad.
He says he wants to live in Brooklyn, NY so I have offered to come and live with him. I could wash his clothes for him. He'd hardly notice my presence ;-)
Luckily, he is living with us for a few more years. Breathe!