Hands up, if you think setting boundaries in your life is difficult? (Hand raised!)
Saying no to people you know well, and people you don’t know so well.
Telling someone at work they hurt your feelings, when they speak to you a certain way.
Letting people know in general, how you’d like to be treated.
With family and in-laws, this can be particularly hard.
But here’s the thing though, when you set boundaries, you avoid a lot of that mental stress and even sometimes heartache.
I am someone who goes over and over in my head conversations I’ve had with people.
And often, long conversations I haven’t actually had with people, but I image having. Do you do that?
And often these conversations in my head, are about justifying my response and reaction to something I didn’t like they did or said.
But when I look under the hood of my feelings, it’s usually about me not being clear about how I want to be treated, or being brave enough to be truthful, and saying what I feel.
Another scenario where boundaries are important to me, is about my creative time here at home.
I can get frustrated when I am constantly interrupted by my kids and husband. But when I tell them, that I am working on something for a period of time and I don’t want to be disturbed, they don’t.
So setting boundaries makes you more creative?
Yes, I think it does.
Because lack of boundaries in your life leads to frustration, confusion and a lot of mental chatter.
Setting boundaries is a way of respecting yourself and showing yourself compassion.
It’s not easy and yes, you may pi.. off a few people. But know that is about them. Not you.
And as Brené Brown says: Boundaries helps to keep us sane!
Setting boundaries makes you more creative because boundary setting is an act of self-kindness.
And you need self-kindness to create from a place of authentically you. And keeping at it.
Self-kindness and knowing you’re good enough, that’s worth risking saying NO once in a while. 🙂
It’s a practice for sure, but I feel good when I manage to say no to something I really don’t need to do.